Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Lessons

I was driving home today and thinking that I wanted to write something about how long and arduous this journey has been.  How radiation is so draining and tiring, then we stopped at the beach.  Kris and I decided to drive down the coast on our way home today.  It is such a beautiful drive and we know the girls love it.  Gabriella had one request, to stop at a beach with some sand.  As we pulled in to the parking lot of a sandy beach along our route, G started to get excited.  Bridgey was asleep in the motorhome so Kris hung with her and G and I went down to the beach.  As I watched G gathering seashells and dodging waves, it hit me what I have been missing.  I have been wading through this thing, surviving the days and looking only to the end.  Gabriella is living.  Every minute of every day is a page in her life that she is soaking up.  Today I woke up with my incredible family all around me, I spent this morning playing at the hospital with Bridget while Kris waited with G to get her radiation done.  When G woke up we took a very cool bike ride around the Stanford campus, loaded up and drove down the coast, played at the beach, had a great meal and made it home for baths and bed.   This life is a gift.  I am going to try much harder to remember that.

Team G

Adam

Monday, August 27, 2012

A quick update...before starting week #4

Thank you all so much for writing me this past week and letting me know you are still there.  I really needed to hear it because every bit of support is encouraging and helps keep our spirits up.
I also wanted to give a great big (((hug))) and say thank you for everyone who has already signed up to purchase goodies, volunteer, bake and ask for donations for the upcoming Bake Sale!!  We already have over 50 people ready to fire up their ovens and I'm so excited about our fight for the cause!  It's amazing what dedication and perseverance can result in and I'm lucky to be a part of it all.


This past week, we've managed to fend off the feeding tube demons and have put some weight on our Miss G.  Adam and I have been on her like hawks making sure we take every opportunity to get food into her.  I've probably been to the store about 3 times this week to purchase high-caloric foods including butter, heavy cream, mayonnaise, Nutella, wonder bread to make PB&J's, tortilla chips, guacamole, shredded cheese, etc.   If anyone would have ever told me 6 months ago that our cabinets would have so much food in them I would have seriously laughed.  We've been adding heavy cream to her coconut milk, cream and butter to her oatmeal, slathered on the peanut butter for her sandwiches, and doused melted cheese on her tortillas.  We even started adding light olive oil to her milk and everything else possible after hearing how many calories and fat grams are in a tablespoon of the stuff.   It's twice as much as cream!  She hasn't complained about the change in taste so I'm going with it.  I even had to pull out all the stops and tell her we would go to the boardwalk this weekend if she gained a pound and to my surprise, she got pretty close.  Monday, she gained about 0.7 lbs and her GI issues have been slowly resolving without extra medication.  Thursday was her exam with the oncologists (which was actually scheduled for 4 hours after her radiation unbeknownst to us until the evening before but I won't go into that story) and a discussion about an NG tube that wasn't going to go down without a fight.  It ended up that G looked so great (and happened to be eating a bag of chips during the exam) that they concurred she didn't actually need the tube.  Thank you.  End of conversation.  I'm sure it won't be the last time it comes up but in the midst of everything going on with radiation, chemo, GI issues and more than normal nausea, this is probably the most critical time.  

Radiation seemed to be starting to wear on Gabriella.  By Wednesday evening and Thursday morning, she starts getting pretty upset that she has to go back to the hospital for her "nap" and starts to resist.  I don't blame her because I get pretty tired by this time too.  Fridays are good day because it's the day they take out her access for her port.  Then she can swim over the weekend and take a real bath.

Adam's birthday was this past week and we celebrated with some amazing friends at Crows Nest.  Exhausted as Adam was, we had a great time just getting away for a little bit.  Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa for helping with the girls and helping with Bridget so I could take G to radiation!  Friday was his actual birthday so after radiation, G wanted to pick up some cupcakes at the grocery store.  So we picked up cupcakes, cookies and fruity pebbles (anything she thinks she will eat I'm buying these days) and took them to the firehouse.  I think she took one lick of frosting and that was it.  Hopefully they were enjoyed by the guys at Station 5!

Saturday, as promised, we planned a quick trip to the boardwalk.  I was so consumed with Gabriella's eating and gaining weight that I forgot it was her weekend where her immunity was going to drop.  Crap.  Already promised her a boardwalk trip because she ate so well.  We went anyway armed with our sanitizer spray, hand wipes and gel to fend off any bugs.  I think I sprayed her hands every time she touched anything.  People must have thought I was a little nuts but it's funny how you stop watching for reactions and caring what people must be thinking of you when you're in the midst of a battle.  Yes, my child is bald, yes I'm killing every germ in our path, yes I will completely avoid you if you cough or sneeze and yes, she has cancer and we are kicking it in the ass!  It was crowded so Adam and I were extra vigilant.  We actually had an amazing time and ran into cousin Iskandria and my sister's boyfriend, Andy!  They were able to ride the carousel together and the girls loved it!

Sunday, I actually got to sneak out for a massage (and another trip to the grocery store) thanks to our dear friend Heidi Bruce!  The girls just love her and have a great time when she's there painting, coloring and partaking in whatever fun craft Heidi brings over.  The massage was awesome and that was thanks to my wonderful friends, Eowyn, Kiki, Katherine, and a "friend from Sutter".  I truly needed this time to re-energize and it was wonderful.  

On to the next week...week #4.  Ready to get this done!

Kristin
Night out at the Crow's Nest!  Happy Birthday my love!

Enjoying their cotton candy...the main reason we go to the boardwalk!

The cotton candy slayer

On the carousel with Andy and Iskandria..a pleasant surprise!

My beautiful little baby Bridget

The morning bathroom line-up
Happily painting their faces





Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Donations for BAKE SALE


Dear Good Cookies,

Many of you have been asking "How can I help?".  Thank you so much for your time and energy!  I put this email together so please pass it along!  


For the bake sale we will need the following:

1) Baked goods...brownies, cookies, cupcakes, rice crispy treats, bars, etc.  individually wrapped, 2-4 dozen.  
    Please email what you want to bake and the amount.  Treats to be dropped off at Pacific Cookie Company at the Sash Mill Saturday the 29th.

2) Volunteers for baking cupcakes...You will get Sassy Cakes and Cupcakes recipes to bake! 
    Cupcakes will need to be dropped off Friday the 28th at Pacific Cookie Company at the Sash Mill from 1pm to 6pm or Saturday the 29th before 12pm.  

3) Volunteers for pre-night bagging...Saturday the 29th from 2pm to we're done ;-)

4) Volunteers for day of event September 30th...email me your preferred location and what hours...All Day, 10am to 2pm, or 2pm to 5pm. 

5) Ask for donations from local stores...asking letter with Tax ID is attached.  Add your info to the letter and arrange for drop off or pick up of donated goods.  

6) Financial Donations...see  Eventbrite: Team G's Cookies for Kids Cancer BAKE SALE for donation link!

7) Pre-Order Cookies or Cupcakes!..  Eventbrite: Team G's Cookies for Kids' Cancer BAKE SALE



Thanks for your help in making this event SUCCESSFUL and giving kids with cancer a fighting chance!!

Kristin

FLYER TO FOLLOW!!!  

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

In the Trenches

I've been writing this post off and on since last week so bare with me.  There has been so much going on so I'll try to recap most of what I remember.  



Help with Bridget

We're so grateful for the help with Bridget this past week.  Danielle, with her use of only one arm due to recent shoulder surgery, and Uncle Ronnie and Auntie Mel took Monday, Jen McD took Wednesday (and even helped with the laundry that continues to pile up around here!), my mom came down to help because I was just having a rough time, on the verge of a meltdown myself.  So she came on Wednesday in the afternoon so I could get some rest.  Adam took G on Thursday after getting home from work and spent the night at the hospital for her overnight chemo.  And my sweet friend Brittany, momma of a 2 1/2 year old, a 1 year old and a baby on the way came over to help with Bridget on Friday.  This was the crazy day.

After G's overnight chemo and a blood transfusion due to her hematocrit dropping to 9.5 (needs to be above, she was a little tired the next day.  Even though it was known that she needed blood early in the day, it didn't come till 1am. Of course, her vitals needed to be taken every 15 minutes to make sure there was no reaction to the blood and with the fluids pouring into her making her have to pee every 2 hours or less, it made for a rough night for her and Adam.  Adam was so sweet to give me a break that night but we realized the lack of sleep was going to wear on him at work the next day.  Luckily he's been trained well being a fireman and continues to battle even with so little sleep.  Plus Santa Clara Co FD has been so wonderful about helping with his work schedule and we're very grateful.  G was taken to radiation the next morning and when she awoke, she was very fatigued; not herself.  The staff was concerned with her weight loss since this whole process began and more so in the last few weeks.  Well, yeah, you schedule a kid for her treatments in the late morning and she can't eat or drink anything before hand plus the fact that she's been having GI distress for the last week (which no one seems to think its from the radiation) not only radiating her tumor site but the area around it including her bowels and you're asking for trouble.  I think both Adam and I will give them hell if she continues to loose weight and they want to stick a feeding tube down her nose because of their scheduling!  Anyway, I'm ranting.
Since Brit was here and my mom would be back, I went up to relieve Adam so he could get to work.  We weren't sure if this would turn into an overnight but we were prepared.  It's a necessity to be prepared these days when you are in the midst of a battle.  She ended up drinking and eating enough to get us home.  I was honestly a little concerned to bring her home but I knew she would sleep better and feel more comfortable.

Radiation Day #6-10

The radiation seems to have caught up with my G girl.  She seems a little more fatigued and is having GI issues.  How could she not?  It's just torture to see her feeling down and disgruntled.
She wants to eat, I know she does but she is so nervous to take bites of food.  We didn't realize that having radiation to her pelvic area would result in nausea.  Apparently, there are nausea triggers not only in her brain but in her intestines as well.  We started giving her the Zofran for nausea around the clock and it seems to help a little.  They've run tests to make sure she wasn't fighting a stomach flu or any bacteria and everything has come back negative.
As of now (Tuesday), she's completed #12 of 27.  At least 27 is what they told us but the other day, we were told that we had been scheduled for 29.  We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
We are starting to get our routine down and starting to get to know the staff at the hospital.  It's not just the doctors and nurses that we're befriending but the techs, the parking attendants, the security guards and the barista's in the coffee shop.  G is so amazing about reminding us to put on her green N95 mask that she wears because of her lowered immunity and all the construction going on.  When it comes to her propofol induced "naps", she says she "likes getting dizzy".  We'll cross that bridge as well when we get to it.  Her skin is looking great but she becomes much more fatigued these days.  I think we are as well.

Chemo Overnight #6

While radiation is going on, the chemo's include vincristine and cyclophosphamide.  The dactinomycin isn't compatible with the radiation so for this treatment and the next (in 3 weeks) we will continue with the two drug chemo.  These chemo's still count in our overall therapy of 14 overnights....so this means we've completed 6 of 14!  Total overall weeks of treatment is still 42 and we just completed 19...now 20!  Whew,  almost half way there!

Weight Loss and the Food

I have to say this has been one of the more difficult part of the journey for our family as we are now offering G anything and everything we can at all hours of the day (not including pre-procedures) and are getting used to a "no thanks" or "that hurt my tummy" in her very sweet voice.  Food, calories, cream, fattening condiments, ice cream for breakfast, cookies for lunch...anything we can think of to put weight on her and keep it on in the midst of being NPO for the better part of the morning and having waves of nausea throughout the day despite the Zofran we're giving her.  I rarely was the kind of mom who forced food on my child or made them eat their veggies.  Just serving them yummy healthy food and eating it ourselves was motivation enough for them to eat it.  I wasn't concerned about their weight and knew they were healthy enough to eat when they were hungry and stop when they were full.  Ugg.  Our pre-cancerous life was filled with veggies, fruit, and clean foods.  Even though we made our share of cakes and cupcakes, they were for clients and we often "tasted" but didn't "eat" these sweets (unless we were at a birthday party).  Adam and I have worked very hard to promote a balanced diet for our kids and now that world has flipped upside down.  It's so foreign to me to force (not physically, not yet anyway), persuade, dance on my head, bribe my child to eat and threaten her with an NG tube if she doesn't.  But this is the cold reality of our world.  To make it more difficult, we have Bridget (our 2 year old) who hears that we are offering G ice cream for a meal and starts to shriek, "I want ice cream" and won't stop until we give in.  With already exhausted parents, it's very easy to give in these days.  I just have to remind myself that this is only temporary.

Planning

I realize that many of you probably think I'm nuts to plan a bake sale in the midst of all this craziness but for those of you who know me, know that I always take on a lot.  My priorities will ALWAYS be my family and my Gabriella first, then everything else comes after that.  Believe it or not, we do have some down time...some.  After getting G and Bridgy situated for the day, week and following months,  making sure that the treatments are all scheduled and staying on top of that, making sure that G eats and that they both get their fare share of "mommy time" along with ALL the cancer mamma duties I have....I'll spare you the details and not re-cap all of them ;-), getting in some exercise and try to not go insane, that is when I plan and add in my philanthropic duties.  During that downtime, sometimes I find my mind wandering into the "what if" zone and thinking things I have to GET OUT OF MY MIND ASAP.  I have to think of Gabriella "here and now".  Planning for positive ways for me to make a difference helps me get through those times where I start thinking of how these toxic treatments and chemicals are going to affect my baby.  I just can't stand the fact that childhood cancer research gets so little attention.  The more I learn, the madder I get and the harder I want to work to make a difference.  Since I can barely plan for our regular lives, planning for this bake sale has given me a positive outlet; a way to channel all these feeling that I have; the loss of control, the frustration, the sadness...planning and positive...my outlets.

I've also thought about the fact that some have stopped reading the blog.  Maybe its to hard to hear, maybe it's just too much and it's so much easier to forget about it and get on with your regular lives.  So this I say, I am so grateful for those of you who continue with us in this journey.  Your strength and commitment is getting us through.  It's a very lonely world and I'm thankful to those that are willing to sacrifice emotions for us.


Food and Dinners


We are so very grateful for the food people continue to bring us food.  I can't tell you how wonderful it is to know that food will be coming and I don't have to stress about "what's for dinner".  It is tremendous help so we can spend more time focusing on Gabriella and Bridget.  Thank you Brit for bringing us some delicious soup and food to freeze for later, Monique for bringing us delicious meet and veggies along with a scrumptious fruit tart and Cindy Bogard for the yummy chicken enchiladas, salad, pie and treats.  The gracious effort that you all have made to make sure we are fed is a blessing to our family.

It feels like we are deep in the trenches of war except for the few times we've come up for air.  We knew that this part of the treatment would be the hardest and its proven to be so.  Many times I just wanted to lay down or fall on my knees but that is not an option.  My little girl is a fighter and I'll be damned if I'm not going to get her through this every step of the way!


G and her cousins Iskandria and Caiden.
Bridgy, my little cold burrito trying to get warm!



We got to enjoy some pool time at cousin Teagen's birthday party.
Needless to say, the girls had a blast!


Bridgy with the biggest dragonfly I've EVER seen!!


Thursday, August 16, 2012

SEPTEMBER 30TH Bake Sale



GO TO EVENTBRITE FOR MORE INFORMATION.....
http://teamgbakesale.eventbrite.com/

OR FACEBOOK.......
http://www.facebook.com/TeamGbakesale


Date of Event:  September 30th, 2012

Time: 10am to 5pm

Locations will be in the parking lots at the following:
1) Surf City Coffee in Aptos
2) Fresh Prep Kitchens/Baskin Robbins/OSH (Orchard Supply Hardware)
   on 41st in Capitola
3) Nob Hill/Drawn2Art on Mt. Hermon Rd in Scotts Valley
4) Scotts Valley Market on Scotts Valley Drive

Pre-order your cookies and cupcakes for back to school, football games, soccer games, church functions, a beach barbecue, or bring to your wonderful co-workers for a weekend treat or a Monday pick-me-up!

COOKIES FROM PACIFIC COOKIE COMANY
$20 PER DOZEN, ONE FLAVOR PER DOZEN

1) Triple Chocolate
2) Lemon Drop
3) Chocolate Chip
4) Peanut Butter

CUPCAKES FROM SASSY CAKES AND CUPCAKES
$33 PER DOZEN, ONE FLAVOR PER DOZEN
PICK UP SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 29TH, 2-6PM

1) Oreo Cookie
2) Sea Salted Caramel
3) Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
4) Vanilla Cake with Strawberry Buttercream
5) Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Buttercream


The pick up location for both COOKIES AND CUPCAKES will be PACIFIC COOKIE COMPANY IN SANTA CRUZ AT THE SASH MILL 2-6PM ON SEPTEMBER 29TH!

Send and email to TEAMGCUPCAKES@YAHOO.COM to place your order.

Payment information to follow.


________________________________________________________________________


Who doesn’t love a good cookie?

We are organizing a bake sale on September 30th in our community to raise money for Cookies for Kids’ Cancer (www.cookiesforkidscancer.org)

Cookies for Kids’ Cancer is a 501(c)3 nonprofit public charity raising money for pediatric cancer research through local bake sales. It was founded by a very determined mother to help increase her young son’s odds in his fight against cancer. In late 2007, she had the idea to bake cookies to sell during the holidays. Her small idea became a huge movement with 96,000 cookies baked and sold during a three-week period with the help of more than 250 dedicated volunteers. Her bake sale raised more than $400,000. During that massive bake sale she realized people want to get involved and help, they just need a way to do so. So Cookies for Kids’ Cancer was created.

If you are wondering why there is a need to raise money for pediatric cancer research, it might come as a surprise that pediatric cancer is the number one disease killer in the U.S. of children under the age of 18. In fact, it kills more children than asthma, AIDS, muscular dystrophy and multiple sclerosis combined. Unfortunately, pediatric cancer receives a very small percentage of the National Cancer Institute’s $4.8 billion annual budget and almost no research and development dollars from pharmaceutical companies.

Our goal is to raise $10,000 during our bake sale. We hope you will help us reach our goal. Every dollar counts and every dollar makes a difference. Research funding has made a direct and measurable impact on the survival rates of pediatric cancer. If children are our most precious resource, why wouldn’t we do everything in our power to keep them safe? It’s our responsibility and obligation to protect them and our future.

Thank you in advance for your time and consideration. As the mother whose idea it was to create Cookies for Kids’ Cancer says, “If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes the world to fight pediatric cancer.” We’re in this fight because every child battling cancer deserves a fighting chance. I hope you too will join my efforts and be a good cookie.




________________________________________________________________________


Hi Everyone!

So I mentioned a while back holding a bake sale one of these days.  The flame is lit and I'm ready to start making a difference not only for my child but for all the children battling this horrible disease.  I thought what better month than to plan a bake sale in September, National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

We will be looking for volunteers to help bake cupcakes, cake pops, cookies, and other bake sale treats!  I will be handing out my own recipes (Sassy Cakes and Cupcakes) for the cupcakes listed above for those who want to bake...AND you can keep the recipe!!

Here is also a link for some of the recipes posted on the Cookies for Kids Cancer website.  If you have a wonderful recipe that you would like to use, please do so!!  All creativity is needed and welcome!!

http://www.cookiesforkidscancer.org/Articles.asp?ID=139

Treats and cake slices will need to be wrapped individually in plastic wrap.  Cookies in plastic wrap or little baggies.  Cupcakes will be boxed in donated cupcake boxes.

We will need the following:
1) People to ask for DONATIONS
2) Treat makers and Bakers (or those who can follow a recipe)
3) Sign makers
4) Volunteers to bag cookies the night before (a wine and cookies pre-night bagging will be on the list)
5) Volunteers for the day of the event
6) Tables, pop-ups, table cloths, banners, balloons, beverages, etc.


As I travel through this journey and learn how little funds are dedicated to childhood cancer research, it only makes me want to fight that much harder and work to support these little children who have to battle cancer. I've seen first-hand what this disease can do not just with my own little girl but with others we have meet on the way... and it's heartbreaking.  I want to help give these children a fighting chance and a future. Instead of turning our backs because it is too sad to see and pretend like it will never happen to us, let's take a stand and make a difference.  It's frustrating hearing about all these other cancers gaining worldwide recognition and billions of dollars for research while the children, our future, get the leftover handful of money. It's frustrating to hear about all the big pharmaceutical companies spending their resources on "money making" pills rather than research to cure childhood cancer. It's extremely frustrating to get denials from insurance companies because the current research for treating childhood cancer is still "experimental".  There's not enough attention paid to childhood cancer to make funds readily available for further research, less toxic treatments, less morbidity and higher survival rates!

We can do this by raising awareness and raising funds for research.  It starts here...it starts with all of you.  Let's spread awareness, raise money and help these little ones fight for life!

AWARENESS...FUNDING...RESEARCH...CURE!!

In Solidarity,

Kristin
Angela
Melanie
Ronnie
Adam
Cara
Michelle
Stacey
Larisa
Jen
Cheri
Kellie
Jesse
Jacque
Rachael
Jody
Ron
TEAM G......


Monday, August 13, 2012

Facing Fears

A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with a friend and I asked him if he reads the blog.  His answer was essentially no.  At first I did not understand.  Didn't he want to know what was going on?  And then it hit me, if the roles were reversed, would I be reading it?  The man I was prior to all this would say hell no.  This stuff has always scared me to death.  The thought of a sick child has always been one of my greatest fears and the thought of a close friend's sick child facing a life threatening disease would have been more than I could bear.
As you know from Kris' previous post, Saturday was the funeral for a young girl who died last week from Rhabdomyosarcoma.  She was 15 years old and was taken from her family and friends by the same disease that we are facing with Gabriella.  If you don't think that is a tough pill to swallow, think again.  We are nearly 5 months into G's treatment and had been humming along with the end in sight and getting closer.  Gabriella has been very happy and active just like a four year old should be.  Some days if it weren't for here bald head we would forget that she is a cancer kid.  Then we got the news of Tianna.  Good God.  From the moment Tianna reached out to us we felt a bond to her and her family.  We attended the funeral and looked at the pictures of this beautiful little angel who lived and laughed and played and was taken too young.  We offered our condolences to the family the best we could and then we came home.  We came home to face the punch in the gut reminder that our kid has it too.  Good God.
I've spent a lot of time in my life thinking I was facing fear.  I used to think that kicking in a door and spraying water at a fire was courageous.  Or racing a motorcycle or climbing a rock was a way to face your fears.  I had no idea.  A friend whose child was diagnosed with a life threatening disease recently told me that she had never known fear before this and I now know exactly what she means. 
The fears we are currently facing have the ability to overtake us.  This weekend knocked us down pretty good, but Kris and I had some great conversations, we spent some quality time with some good friends and watched our little angels live large.  I have confidence that we will get through this.  This is the fight of our lives and as scary as it is and will be, Team G will never stop fighting.  I promise you that.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

High high's and Low low's


Tianna Anairi Valdez
5/26/1997 ~ 8/6/2012
Resident of Santa Cruz

Santa Cruz Sentinel Article

Services will be held on Friday and Saturday for Tianna Anairi Valdez who passed away from Rhabdomyosarcoma at Lucile Packard Children's Hospital on Monday, August 6th 2012, she was 15 years old. Tianna was born in Santa Cruz, on May 26 1997, residing in Aptos where she attended Holy Cross Catholic School. Tianna loved to read and write. She enjoyed cooking and baking. One of Tianna's favorite pass times was to get Mani's and Pedi's with her sister, Leilani. She loved Adele. Her passion was Volleyball and was a member of the Main Beach Volleyball club and Holy Cross Church. Tianna liked spending time with her friends and loved having her little cousin's around. One of Tianna's favorite places to go was Petroglyph. She was dedicated and always encouraged friends and family to smile and maintain a positive attitude. 
Tianna is survived by her parents, Diego Valdez and Claudia Cisneros and her sister, Leilani Valdez; her Aunts, Iriana and Bianca; her uncles, Carlos and Adrian. She is also survived by Leo Valdez, her dog and best friend. 
Services will begin on Friday, August 10, 2012 at Benito Azzaro Pacific Gardens Chapel with a Visitation beginning at 2:00 p.m. followed by a Vigil Prayer service beginning at 7:00 p.m. Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated on Saturday, August 11, 2012 beginning at 11:00 a.m. at Holy Cross Church. Committal services will be private.
Family request contributions are made to www.mylifeline.org/live4todayT, select under the Giving Angels tab or mail to 360 Poppy Way Aptos, CA 95003.
We will always cherish the moments we all shared with her, she will be greatly missed. 

"When you miss me, just look up into the night sky and remember, I am like a star, sometimes you can't see me, but I am always there."
Published in Santa Cruz Sentinel on August 9, 2012



This week proved to be emotionally exhausting and physically challenging.  On Monday, the world lost a sweet little girl to this bastard cancer.  I hate this disease.  It makes me so angry and sick to my stomach that it can prey on little children and steal them away from their families.  I am so angry, sad, outraged and every other emotion you could imagine.  A parent should not ever ever have to experience this pain and sadness.  A parent should never have to watch their child suffer.  A parent should NEVER have to bury their child.  And a child should never have to experience something so cruel.  Someone asked earlier, how do you deal with the sadness.  You turn it into strength, motivation, and determination to do something about it.  These children need our help.  They need us to take a stand because they can't fight this alone.  I'm in this for life.  I can't turn my back on these children.  I'm too involved and I've seen too much to pretend it doesn't happen.

For anyone who has ever asked, "What can we do to help"...well, this is what you can do.  You can help get involved, help make people aware, help put childhood cancer awareness on the map and don't let people keep turning their backs because it's too sad.  It IS sad...it's horrifying and no one wants to think about it.  But if it were your child, wouldn't you want to know that there are safer options, less toxic methods, a way to cure childhood cancer and a million people supporting you through it?  It DOES happen and as we've learned, it can happen to ANYONE at ANY TIME.  Cancer doesn't make its choices on socioeconomic class, religion, race or any other common denominator; it's random.  It's a scary and horrifying thought and for the most part, parents luckily won't have to deal with childhood cancer.   But, if you did, wouldn't you want everything possible done for your child?


Radiation:

We completed Gabriella's first week of radiation therapy...treatment #1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 of 27.  Gabriella again did awesome on Tuesday but by Wednesday, she was starting to get a little tired of going to the hospital every day and woke up in protest.  She was frustrated that she couldn't have her usual morning milk and toast.  Since she has to have general anesthesia every day for her treatment, she has to be NPO (nothing by mouth) before the treatment.  We've talked about the possibility of her staying awake and lying still for the treatment but since its so precise and everyone worked so hard to move her ovaries out of the way, we all decided that risking it would not be beneficial.  It would be a lot to ask a little girl to lie still in such an awkward position even for a short period of time.  She's so awesome and so compliant with all the crap she has to go through. 
Since Adam had to work a couple days this week and we wanted to spend time with out of town family, we drove up and back every day.  This coming week will be tough because Adam will work Mon, Wed, and Friday.  Thanks to our friends that have generously offered to watch Bridget for us.  Hopefully by the following week, we can take the RV up and stay a couple of nights to cut down on the driving.  

It has been the same routine every day and is becoming oddly routine.  As soon as G sees that we're getting close to the hospital, she's been so awesome about reminding us she needs to put her N95 mask on to protect her from any infection she could get being exposed to the construction.  We pull up to valet at Packard, drop our car off, grab the necessities (food for after, a blanket and a purple and pink unicorn), and take the outdoor short cut to the radiation center at Stanford.  For the most part, they are ready for us and bring us back to the radiation room.  Normally, the nurse and the anesthesiologist are different but the tech's are the same and we've gotten to know them by first name.    They hook G up to the machines, attach her IV and push in the milky white med, propofol, that will help her drift off to a med-induced sleep.  She takes a big yawn before she goes under, we lie her on the table and leave the room.  After about 30 minutes, we hear her little heart beat on the monitor and walk with the anesthesiologist and nurse down the intertwined hallways that lead us back to the Packard post-op area.  Of course, we have to wait for the nurses to settle G into the unit before they can take us back.  So we go visit Pam, one of the assistants in the family waiting area we've come to know all too well and wait a few minutes.  Gabriella has been waking up in the post-op area to her cup of warm coconut milk and whatever else she has requested to eat that day.  Anything from parmesan cheese to fruit to toast has been on the list.  She drinks, eats and after getting her clothes on, we get to leave.  A couple times she has said, "Mommy, I like being dizzy" referring to the anesthesia meds that put her under.  Well, at least she's comfortable and doesn't mind the feeling.  

Thursday brought a little scare when G laid down in the bath and got water under her port dressing.  I immediately went into "nurse mode" while Adam got the access supply box and the dressing change kit, took off the wet bandage, donned a mask and sterile gloves, cleaned the area and put a new dressing on.  As most of you might now, this access is a needle into her port, which leads directly into the right atrium of her heart.  It has to stay all week for anesthesia and G is very careful not to get it wet.  If it water gets under the dressing, there is a definite potential for infection.  Luckily, the site looks great and she's been feeling pretty good.  No fevers...knock on wood! 

Adam took G for her Friday treatment so I could spend some time with Bridget and take her to the park. B is such a fun little girl and has such an amazing personality developing.  She's certainly becoming the life of the party.  At the park, we got to meet up with Michelle and her kids and brainstorm all about the upcoming Bake Sale for Cookies for Kids Cancer.  Grandma and Grandpa helped with Bridget for a couple of days and she was able to have some fun with her cousins, aunt and uncle from back east. We were able to take G up to the house they rented in the SC mountains and she was finally able to swim on Friday after getting her port de-accessed.  Because G did so amazing this whole week, Adam took her to REI to pick up a "little something".  Immediately she fell in love with a pink Electra beach cruiser with hybiscus covering the frame, seat and wheels, and it was just her size.  I don't think there was any question whether to buy it or not.  They were on their way home, bike, helmet and all.  SInce they didn't have B's size bike at REI, we took her on Saturday to Toy's R Us to get her a special gift and she picked out a beautiful Strawberry Shortcake bike in pink, of course.

I'm trying to convince her that tennis shoes are better for biking.  

Bridgy is learning how to pedal but is totally happy
with being pushed around on her bike for now.  

Even though it was an incredibly long week, we were still going to wake up Saturday, get dressed, and honor our fellow warrior Tianna and her family in solidarity.  (Thanks Todd and Heidi for watching the girls for us.)  As I posted above, Tianna lost her battle to cancer this past Monday.  She was only 15.  After the article posted in the Sentinel about G battling cancer, Tianna got in contact with us and wanted to help us through our difficult time.  Shortly after, her cancer came back with avengeance and took this precious child's hopes, dreams and her life.  We meet Tianna and her amazing family a few times in the hospital and even got the chance to have Gabriella and Bridget meet her.  You could tell only in a few moments how strong and amazing this little girl was.  She was a precious child and my heart aches for her family.  Attending her funeral and watching her family's pain is nothing short of heartbreaking.  You can just see how much love and support Tianna received from her family, friends and community and what wonderful people they are.  As I've told Claudia, an incredibly amazing cancer mom and a cancer survivor herself, Tianna's passing will NOT go in vain.  We will always keep her alive in our memories and in our hearts.  We will continue to fight for her, Gabriella and all the other families who have children fighting cancer.  Rest in Peace Tianna and know that you will NEVER be forgotten.       



Bake Sale Meeting:

I posted an update on the Bake Sale post but wanted to mention it again.  Wednesday, my mom (Nana) was able to stay with Bridget until G and I got home.  Grandma and Grandpa came down later that evening to watch the girls so I could go to the Jia Tella's for our meeting.  Ronnie, Mel and I arrived and were met by Larisa, Jen, Cheri, Kellie, Jacque, Jesse, and Stacey.  We had an amazing brainstorming session about the upcoming Countywide Bake Sale slated for SEPTEMBER 30th.  With the amount of volunteers who are so graciously willing to help and the importance of the cause, we will be covering at least 3 areas of SC County including Aptos, Capitola, and Scotts Valley.  We are encouraging anyone who would like to be involved to contact us about the event.  It's going to be big and successful and we are all getting very excited about it.  I'm so impressed with all of you who are already asking to help, ordering cupcakes, and making it known that you want to stand up for our children!!  As you are learning and I am learning, there is a great need for our voices to be heard for childhood cancer and you are again, answering the call.  This can't happen without all of us working together!



     
A side note:

When you meet another mom who's child is suffering from cancer, you immediately have an unbreakable bond and a strong understanding of what the other must be going through.  Even though every cancer and every child is different, you still go through the extremely high high's and devastatingly low low's.  As we walk through the halls of the hospital we are becoming all too familiar with, we are starting to recognize these parents and the children with their beautiful bald heads and little green masks covering their faces.  Looking into their eyes, you know all too well the pain and heartbreak they are feeling and at that moment, you both wish you could take it away.  


Monday, August 6, 2012

Radiation- Treatment #1 of 27

We woke up this morning ready for our first day of radiation... for Gabriella that is.  Ironic how we talk like this is "our treatment" but we are all in this together.  Treatment was scheduled for 10:30 but we had to check into the Ford Surgery Center at 9:15, per policy.  We know this place too well and know that we will be waiting for about 45 minutes before they even call her back for her pre-op.  Really, we were not in a rush this morning and if we hit traffic, so be it.  This morning was different though.  There was no rush to get going, no pre-packing the night before, no anxious cleaning (just the usual cleaning); just routine.  Maybe we are just getting tired of this, maybe we are just robotic now and its becoming automatic; not sure really.   I had a sense of relief knowing my mom will be at the house because she'll automatically clean, vacuum, sweep, and take care of everything I know I need to but just don't have the energy to do.  This morning, we were on task and ready to get the show on the road.  G had to be NPO (nothing by mouth) from midnight and nothing to drink after 7:30am.  I offered her water before her cut off time but she wanted milk.  I reminded her she couldn't have anything but clears and this was the last chance until after the procedure.  She kindly refused with her sweet little "No thanks" and on we went downstairs to cuddle with Nana before getting dressed and on the road.   

Adam got coverage for the whole morning by Bruce Ingle so we could get "settled" with our new regimen and figure out how it's all going to work.  Nana came down last night to be with Bridget so we could focus on G for her first treatment.    I've never seen our girls so wild at night, running around, dancing for Nana, and playing with Mr. Tortoise (we're turtle sitting for our neighbors and the girls are loving it).  We were thinking it was going to be hard to get them down to bed but they were out pretty easily.  G even had a short play date with Charlotte in the morning so I think she gladly wore herself out.  

We checked in, got accessed, waited patiently for the pre-op nurse (who apparently doesn't do this often) while she kicked the anesthesiologist out twice so she could finish charting, and finally walked down the multitude of hallways, walkways, and doorways to make our way to the radiation area.  Never once throughout the whole morning did G complain about being hungry.  She'll quietly play on the iPhone or iPad but I'm pretty sure this is her way of dealing with all of the commotion going on around her.  Finally to the radiation area.  It becomes very real when you walk into a room with huge monitors and medical machinery that is going to deliver hazardous beams of radiation necessarily killing off cancerous tumor cells but causing damage to normal cells.  Deep breath.  It's quite unnerving really but its something that has to be done.   

It's never easy to see your child go through the transition of playing enthusiastically on the iPad, making cupcakes, to succumbing to anesthesia.  As soon as the medicine hit, she felt it, slumped over and looked up at me with her big green eyes.  In a way I felt as if she was saying to me, "Mommy, we have to do this again...".  All I could do was hold her little floppy head, kiss her multiple times, tell her daddy and I were here and lay her little body down on the cold, hard table and watch as everyone in the room scurried to place her properly to get started while considerately telling us to "leave the room now".  We fight the urge to run back into the room, knock everyone out, grab our little girl and run far far away.  But we know what we must do.  There's no thinking it over too much, we just do it because we have to.  

Adam and I sat quietly in the waiting room.  Claudia, one of Dr. Donaldson's nurses came in to discuss after radiation treatment and what to expect in the weeks to come.  Then we met with Dr. Donaldson and her team of doctors.  Again when she walked into the room, I had an immediate sense of calmness, positivity and trust that came over me.  Not sure if any doctor has ever made me feel this comfortable but she has a way about her and I just know we are in good hands.  Before we finish our short meeting, Gabriella get's wheeled by, back to the recovery area.  We were right behind, trying to catch up by following the sounds of her little heart beat from the monitor.  There's something about hearing your child's heart beating that is very calming.  Maybe it goes back to the first ultrasound when pregnancy is confirmed and you hear your child's heart beat for the very first time.  Most parents seem to know that they have instantly fallen in love and know you will do anything in your power to protect this little being.  Entering the recovery area, we were greeted with more than the normal crying and screaming.  Try all you might, its hard to block out these sounds and not feel the pain and fright these kids must be feeling.  Gabriella was sleeping like a beauty queen and was able to slowly wake.  She was a happy kid when she woke up especially having her warm coconut milk readily available and chocolate covered granola thins.  Before we knew, we were on our way home.  It was actually 4 hours after we checked in but there was a lot packed into that 4 hours.  

Gabriella is home and recovering.  She's actually doing well but seems a little sleepy and says she's dizzy.  I'm hoping she will get used to the anesthesia and hopefully they will be able to adjust the dose so she's not so sleepy and dizzy.  We've got 26 more treatments to go.  

Just keep swimming.

Friday, August 3, 2012

BAKE SALE- SEPTEMBER 30TH




http://teamgbakesale.eventbrite.com/

http://www.facebook.com/TeamGbakesale


Date of Event:  September 30th, 2012

Time: 10am to 5pm

Locations will be in the parking lots at the following:
1) Surf City Coffee in Aptos
2) Fresh Prep Kitchens/Baskin Robbins/OSH (Orchard Supply Hardware)
   on 41st in Capitola
3) Nob Hill/Drawn2Art on Mt. Hermon Rd in Scotts Valley
4) Scotts Valley Market on Scotts Valley Drive

Pre-order your cookies and cupcakes for back to school, football games, soccer games, church functions, a beach barbecue, or bring to your wonderful co-workers for a weekend treat or a Monday pick-me-up!

COOKIES FROM PACIFIC COOKIE COMANY
$20 PER DOZEN, ONE FLAVOR PER DOZEN

1) Triple Chocolate
2) Lemon Drop
3) Chocolate Chip
4) Peanut Butter

CUPCAKES FROM SASSY CAKES AND CUPCAKES
$33 PER DOZEN, ONE FLAVOR PER DOZEN
PICK UP SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 29TH, 2-6PM

1) Oreo Cookie
2) Sea Salted Caramel
3) Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
4) Vanilla Cake with Strawberry Buttercream
5) Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Buttercream


The pick up location for both COOKIES AND CUPCAKES will be PACIFIC COOKIE COMPANY IN SANTA CRUZ AT THE SASH MILL 2-6PM ON SEPTEMBER 29TH!

Send and email to TEAMGCUPCAKES@YAHOO.COM to place your order.

Payment information:
To make payments or donations, go to http://teamgbakesale.eventbrite.com/

We will need the following:
1) People to ask for DONATIONS
2) Treat makers and Bakers (or those who can follow a recipe)
3) Sign makers
4) Volunteers to bag cookies the night before (a wine and cookies pre-night bagging will be on the list)
5) Volunteers for the day of the event
6) Tables, pop-ups, table cloths, banners, balloons, beverages, etc.

Please send an email to TEAMGCUPCAKES@YAHOO.COM to volunteer!  
________________________________________________________________________


Who doesn’t love a good cookie?

We are organizing a bake sale on September 30th in our community to raise money for Cookies for Kids’ Cancer (www.cookiesforkidscancer.org)

Cookies for Kids’ Cancer is a 501(c)3 nonprofit public charity raising money for pediatric cancer research through local bake sales. It was founded by a very determined mother to help increase her young son’s odds in his fight against cancer. In late 2007, she had the idea to bake cookies to sell during the holidays. Her small idea became a huge movement with 96,000 cookies baked and sold during a three-week period with the help of more than 250 dedicated volunteers. Her bake sale raised more than $400,000. During that massive bake sale she realized people want to get involved and help, they just need a way to do so. So Cookies for Kids’ Cancer was created.

If you are wondering why there is a need to raise money for pediatric cancer research, it might come as a surprise that pediatric cancer is the number one disease killer in the U.S. of children under the age of 18. In fact, it kills more children than asthma, AIDS, muscular dystrophy and multiple sclerosis combined. Unfortunately, pediatric cancer receives a very small percentage of the National Cancer Institute’s $4.8 billion annual budget and almost no research and development dollars from pharmaceutical companies.

Our goal is to raise $10,000 during our bake sale. We hope you will help us reach our goal. Every dollar counts and every dollar makes a difference. Research funding has made a direct and measurable impact on the survival rates of pediatric cancer. If children are our most precious resource, why wouldn’t we do everything in our power to keep them safe? It’s our responsibility and obligation to protect them and our future.

Thank you in advance for your time and consideration. As the mother whose idea it was to create Cookies for Kids’ Cancer says, “If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes the world to fight pediatric cancer.” We’re in this fight because every child battling cancer deserves a fighting chance. I hope you too will join my efforts and be a good cookie.




________________________________________________________________________


Hi Everyone!

So I mentioned a while back holding a bake sale one of these days.  The flame is lit and I'm ready to start making a difference not only for my child but for all the children battling this horrible disease.  I thought what better month than to plan a bake sale in September, National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

We will be looking for volunteers to help bake cupcakes, cake pops, cookies, and other bake sale treats!  I will be handing out my own recipes (Sassy Cakes and Cupcakes) for the cupcakes listed above for those who want to bake...AND you can keep the recipe!!

Here is also a link for some of the recipes posted on the Cookies for Kids Cancer website.  If you have a wonderful recipe that you would like to use, please do so!!  All creativity is needed and welcome!!

http://www.cookiesforkidscancer.org/Articles.asp?ID=139

As I travel through this journey and learn how little funds are dedicated to childhood cancer research, it only makes me want to fight that much harder and work to support these little children who have to battle cancer. I've seen first-hand what this disease can do not just with my own little girl but with others we have meet on the way... and it's heartbreaking.  I want to help give these children a fighting chance and a future. Instead of turning our backs because it is too sad to see and pretend like it will never happen to us, let's take a stand and make a difference.  It's frustrating hearing about all these other cancers gaining worldwide recognition and billions of dollars for research while the children, our future, get the leftover handful of money. It's frustrating to hear about all the big pharmaceutical companies spending their resources on "money making" pills rather than research to cure childhood cancer. It's extremely frustrating to get denials from insurance companies because the current research for treating childhood cancer is still "experimental".  There's not enough attention paid to childhood cancer to make funds readily available for further research, less toxic treatments, less morbidity and higher survival rates!

We can do this by raising awareness and raising funds for research.  It starts here...it starts with all of you.  Let's spread awareness, raise money and help these little ones fight for life!

AWARENESS...FUNDING...RESEARCH...CURE!!

In Solidarity,

Kristin
Angela
Melanie
Ronnie
Adam
Cara
Michelle
Stacey
Larisa
Jen
Cheri
Kellie
Jesse
Jacque
Rachael
Jody
Ron
TEAM G......





August 8th Update:

The meeting was fantastic and I am so fired up about this bake sale!!  Thank you all for being there; Kellie, Jesse, Jacque, Mel, Jen, Cherri, Stacey, Larisa, and Ronnie (our male voice).  Don't worry if you weren't able to be there.  We will definitely have more meetings!  But please keep emailing me if you would like to help out!
Since Santa Cruz County is such a great place and we have such an amazing support system here, we wanted to pull out all the stops and make this bake sale big, fun and successful and have more than just one location.
We will continue to work on locations and once we nail down our three, we can continue the planning.  Kellie and I are writing up the notes from the meeting and we can put them out there for those who wanna get involved!  Its going to be so great!!


August 5th Update:

We are already getting cupcake orders in and volunteers are signing up!  Thank you, thank you!  I am so honored and excited that you are all helping make this happen!  
We've also got our first location...the parking lot near OSH and Fresh Prep Kitchens on 41st Ave!  
The first meeting is still set for Wednesday, August 8th at 6pm...Jia Tella's in Scotts Valley.  Hope to see you there!


Date of Event:  September 30th, 2012

Time: 10am to 5pm

Location: TBD.  (Request letters are already out and hopefully we'll have an answer by next week.) 

Pre-Planning will be at 6pm Wednesday August 8th at Jia Tella's in Scotts Valley. Please email me if you have questions or would like to join!