Sunday, February 22, 2015


Ok, it's March and this post is now a month overdue. I've been meaning to write for weeks now but as soon as my "January gloom" wears off I'm back at it again. But this is good. It's different. It's a good different. I can breathe. I can relax a little bit more. I can do a better job of balancing my time between my family, my work, the foundation and everything else. 
It feels great. 

What is it about January?  Is there such a thing called "post holiday blues"?  The same thing seems to happen every January.  After the holidays, birthdays, and all the events, it all seems to comes crashing down, momentarily of course. I always think I'm going to "relax" in January....but I don't think I know how to do that without feeling like I'm not doing enough.  As soon as February rolls around, the gloom wears off and life starts happening again. 

For those of you who know me well, know that I can be up-and-down with my feelings between wanting to be "normal speed" and "super speed" (for lack of a better way to describe it). For those who read my blog every so often, or the ones I happen to vent to on a "normal speed" day, there's always those times when all I want is to just be.  And those days I'll write about it.  I'm always going to have my days where I don't want to do this anymore. We all have those days. But the fact will always remain... this is my passion and passion is not something you can lose easily.  It's passion for my kids that drives me to be a better mom. It's passion for my husband that drives me to be a better wife. And it's passion for children fighting cancer that drives me to continue this mission. 

As I've mentioned before it's a balancing act every day every week even every hour. We must find those things in life that we are passionate about and use those to guide us and drive us we also have to find a healthy balance.  Isn't that what life is about?  So much of my work as a critical care nurse is also about balance. Balancing fluids, balancing medications, balancing the function of the body.  I realized I can apply this theory to all realms of life and thing will turn out pretty darn good. 

The girls are just amazing. They're doing so well in school, their activities and life in general. At Gabriella's first parent teacher conference for first grade, it was the week of our most recent scans in December. Needless to say it was a long restless week. Gabriella's teachers reported that she was doing so well in school that it brought tears to my eyes. And more tears and more tears. And they were happy tears. Tears of joy that my little girl has overcome so much such a short period of time. And all things that were revealed that week brought pure joy at that moment. Even thinking about it now makes my eyes well up. I'm always saying how it takes me a lot to cry these days but there's a difference between a sad cry and a joyous cry. These days joyous cries are easy to come by… And that is good. 

Bridget is an amazing little beauty herself. I thought Adam was the stubborn one in the family. Then I met Bridget when she turned 3 years old. Watch out world. This little strong minded soul has an agenda and timeframe all her own. Strong-willed, kindhearted, and very independent are the keywords that describe my Bridget.  No matter how much she challenges me in everyday life, I wouldn't change her for anything.  

We just returned from a trip to Seattle and before that, a huge donation was made to Lucile Packard for T Cell immunotherapy in honor of our warrior Sofia!  It feels so amazing to know that every dollar we raise goes to kickin' cancer's ass!  And that feels incredible! I'll write more about it later.