Thursday, February 7, 2013

Lucky number 14

I watched the last of the chemo drugs drip into the IV attached to my Warrior Princess Fairy (her words) tonight and felt a twinge of relief.  Now it's all about recovery, about healing, about taking our lives back from this terrible disease that has taken so much of our time and focus.  This last year has been a challenge, a struggle, a test.  Well, we passed that test and now it is time to move on.  It is very difficult to feel overjoyed right now because we know there is a chance that our fight is not really over.  We know cancer is a fickle beast that can hide and re-emerge later.  We know because we have seen it.  We have been very careful to tell G that this is the end, we want nothing more than to take her in our arms and tell her this shit is over.  But what if?  We don't want to lie to her, give her false hope.  How do we deal with it?  I keep telling her that if the cancer is gone then it is over.  She gives me the same look every time.  One of complacency, almost existential.  Like she is saying "so what".  Her look gives me strength.  I am convinced we beat this demon, but if there are complications, we will beat them too.

Team G


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