Thursday, August 29, 2013

Capturing a moment

I didn't realize what I had caught in the picture above until someone mentioned it on Facebook.   Then I took a closer look. The embrace that daddy is giving his little girl says it all.  The look on his face, the hug for his little girl not not sure he is ok with letting her go but knowing that she was going to be just fine.  And G...right after this hug, she jumped from daddy's arms and was standing in line with all the other kids anxiously awaiting to enter her classroom.  I had a lump in my throat the whole morning while dropping her off but didn't want to cry (I didn't have my sunglasses on J).  When I took a look around, it was a delightful feeling to see all the other parents seeming to feel similar emotions; not because we were all on the verge of tears but because we were all a part of it...together.  I could see the emotion in Adam's eyes and he could hear it in my voice.  Our baby made it to kindergarden.  The thoughts that Gabriella wouldn't be here because she was in treatment or any where else makes it that much more emotional.  This feeling kicked in even more when I went on Facebook and saw a number of children who didn't make their first day of school because they were in the hospital or worse.  Maybe I should stay off Facebook on emotional days?

Today is one of the biggest milestones yet with the girls off to their new year.  I was torn between the feeling of letting my babies grow up and being so excited for them to attend school; just like every other kid.  Getting to see G walk through those kindergarden doors was like a right of passage.  After all we've been through and now to see G with her piers and just can't get any better than that.

After we dropped G off on day 1, we took Bridget to school.  She seemed a little lost as she went to her new setting in the blue room.  She had been there a few days but I think it all started to set in this week, with G being at a different school and her being in a new class.  Day 2 was even more upsetting for Bridgy when I dropped her off first.  It really hit for her when she saw G leave with me.  I felt so bad as I watched her cry at the window with teacher Sharon but I knew she would be ok.  Talk about mommy guilt!   I just wanted to go grab her and take her with me!  I've been giving it a lot of thought but now I'm looking at it from their little perspectives.  The world is a big place and when you're so small, it can seem even bigger.

For me, I've been a little lost too but I always know how to fix that with a little cleaning and a lot of organizing.  We just got home from our last day of our RV vacation to see Grandma and Grandpa.  And we are off this coming weekend to Camp Okizu for our family retreat.  It's the same one we went on last year right in the middle of radiation.  I think, and it's just a hunch, that we will have a much better time this year.  Adam and I are both really looking forward to it!  I'm not even unpacking the girls bags...just washing and organizing them for the coming weekend.  The last few nights have been spent sorting paperwork, packing lunches, putting laundry away and....again...organizing for the big month, bake sale, obstacle course, Bill's ride, my dad's 70th birthday, G's scans....ugg....G's scans.  She's gonna be just fine!  I know it!

Last day of summer.....

We enjoyed a fun filled day of Boardwalk, sunshine, little crowds, a great family dinner on the Wharf and watching the sea lions play.  Life is good!

My favorite part of growing up and going to the Santa Cruz Wharf.

Adam's new friend, G thinking "Omg, I don't wanna see"
and Bridget thinking, "What is going on here?"

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