It seems like forever since I last wrote an entry in your journal. Since the last time I wrote, the world as we once knew has forever changed. As you will learn later on in life, Gabriella has been diagnosed with cancer and we have been on survival mode. You will learn the gravity of this when you are older and how we pulled together as a family to get through it. We've just been gathering our thoughts and trying to figure out this whole new situation.
You are turning two today. Even though it has come with some tough challenges, you are like a breath of fresh air. You have been amazing through this whole journey and I wanted you to know. You are a regular two year old going through some extreme circumstances. With special strength inside, you've given us joy hope and laughter. You have gained the ability to see when your sister is hurting and have shown so much compassion for her during those difficult times. The kindness in your heart has shined through even though you are only two.
I remember one day when sissy was really sick, you were trying to get her to take her medicine because you knew it would make her feel better. You showed her the medicine and said "Here Sis" as she was lying on the bench outside. Then you patted her head, arm and placed some blankets on her. It was the sweetest most endearing thing to watch. I have seen an incredible relationship forming between you and your sister. I hope you will have that special bond for years to come.
Other than that, we have watched you run around everywhere, get into everything, make messes and explore your world like two year olds should do. It's just cute to see you run everywhere because you don't walk, you run, you bounce wherever you go. Its a joy to see and watch you grow.
I know you get nervous on the days where we have to go to the hospital and I know you are aware that things are going on, especially that first month when life was so chaotic. I knew you felt that and I could see it in your eyes. Like the family that we are, we just kept trucking through.
You've shown strength within you that I never thought a two year old could have.
I hope we can celebrate your birthday being just as special as every birthday is even though things are tough. I hope we do right by you and allow you the freedom to be a child even though we have thrown you into such an adult world. We are doing our best to keep you with us as much as possible while balancing your naps, rest time and health. It's not easy to do but I don't think any of this is easy. We want you to stay healthy and rested but still be able to be with us and enjoy our day trips to the hospital and stick together. In the long run, it might be better for you because I know you miss sissy when she's gone. I'm just so glad its not every day that we have to be doing this. At least we have breaks in between. When your 13, 16, and 21, we're all going to look back on this and know that we made it through together. In the end, its going to make us stronger, more appreciative, kinder and much braver than we could have ever imagined.
Today is a VERY special day. The day I laughed you into our lives (I'll explain that one later) and got to bring you home on mothers day. You were my little mothers day present and I'm so proud of you and proud to be your mommy. I'm proud to have you as my little girl. I just want to tell you how much I love you my petit gateau (little cake)!
I love you baby.