For the moment, things are "normal". What the heck does that mean? It has been what we have known for the last few years, months, days.
Today was another day; rough, exhausting, draining, etc. but in the end, I got to hold my daughter tight and nothing else mattered. I was in heaven and from here on out, every time I hold my girls, I will be in HEAVEN.
We went to the hospital today around 1pm. G couldn't eat or drink anything. The basic fundamentals of being a parent and of life is to eat, drink, breathe... How odd is it to not give your child a drink of water when they are thirsty or to give them food when they are hungry. As Adam said earlier, this rocks the very core of our existence and there is not a damn thing we can do about it! I want to scream, cuss, cry....all at the same time! Every emotion I have ever felt I'm now feeling ten trillion fold...feeling it as i never experienced before. I'm angry, weak, strong, happy, everything in between....
There was almost a moment where we didn't think we were actually going to get the PET today. There were issues with scheduling and the short notice of our test. The PET is a test where they look through G's whole body to see if the cancer has spread. In order to do this test, they had to put her to sleep again and have her "glucose deprived". They give her slightly radioactive glucose, which is attracted to the cancer cells. Of course, the vaginal area will show up and any other area where there is cancer will show up. So we were relieved to have them call us in and get us started.
The process seemed somewhat easier at the moment. They gave G nitrous gas and the anesthesiologist told her a story. She was smiling at us the whole time then went to sleep peacefully. Adam and I got to be with her the whole time until she fell asleep.
As we walked out to the hall, I had to hold on to Adam to keep from hitting the floor. It felt awful. I hate every bit of this. Every bit of it but failure is not an option. I know, so cliche but so appropriate.
After the procedure, G was incredible. She woke up happy and ate two popsicles...an orange and a purple. She had about a half of a container of shredded parmigiano reggiano cheese. I am SOOOOO proud of this little girl!!! She amazes me and is my inspiration!!!!!
SHE IS SUCH A TROOPER AND SO BRAVE!!!
On the way home, we looked at cows, gray herons and whatever else was out the window. We stopped at Whole Foods and got some snacks. At home, Bridget was SOOO happy to see her big sister. Nana and Papa had a great day with Bridget. When G came home, she was greeted by a beautiful Edible arrangement from the Lucero's, a huge bunny from Nana, a package from Victoria and family, cotton candy from Papa, a wonderful dinner from the Lee's and more letters of hope. THANK YOU SO MUCH...ALL OF YOU. I'm sure I'm forgetting some but please know we are so grateful.
The doctors said G would take about 24 hours to bounce back. Yeah, right. She was bouncing around all night and naming her stuffed animals....Icing, Rose, Jelli Bean just to name a few.
At this moment, Adam and I want this (blog) to be a place of positivity. We want to reach out to you all for strength, hope and positivity. You have all delivered. Please continue to do so. This road will be very dark at times and very lonely but it is a road we must face.
Gabriella: "Heroine of God, God is my strength"... I keep looking up the meaning of my daughters name and this is what I found.
My girl...she's amazing!