Sunday, March 25, 2012

I've gotten a lot of good resources for the wig so thanks guys.  I'm definitely going to follow up on that.  I do have to admit that some moments I'm so happy about doing it and sometimes its scares the crap out of me.  I don't know why. its only hair and it grows back.  There is just so much more behind it.  Funny thing is, we've been watching Rapunzel these last few days.  Serendipitous really.

We had some great moments today and some down moments.  That is what they really are... just moments of pure emotion.  We had some great friends come, Steph, Tobey and Addison Jenkins, to bring us coffee.  The girls got to play together and had a great time.
We also had more great friends Cliff and Morgan bring us dinner.  I was so tired when they got here but it was just really nice to have some "normalcy" for the moment and for the evening.  My sister Auntie B surprised us with a visit as well and she pitched right in to clean the dishes.  Another bag came from the Crowley's to the door filled with popcorn, movies, candy bars, and stuffed animals.
I always tried to believe that mankind is good.  I've have a whole new admiration for mankind in the last few weeks.  A lot had to do with the fact that I can finally possibly accept it now.  

I'm reading some of the posts telling us that we are wonderful, courageous, strong parents....thank you for the compliments.  But I don't feel like I am these things really.  I'm just a mom trying to get my little girl through this...get my whole family through this.  Its a curse to see my angelic little girl just trying to grow up and now she has to deal with this ugliness growing inside her.  I saw a piece of the tumor coming out tonight.  I just wanted to grab it out of her and burn it!!  It made me sick to my stomach.  But my saving grace is that it just doesn't bother her.  I think Gabriella is the one that's wonderful, courageous, strong and brave and I know all of you think so too.
Unfortunately, we were the ones chosen for this journey.

6 comments:

  1. Oh honey, my eyes are full of tears reading this. ONE DAY AT A TIME! One moment at a time. You can do it. G can fight this. And as the doctors said, G will walk away remembering how much ice cream she had and how many movies she was allowed to watch. I love you much and mighty my friend.

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  2. Im so sorry your family has to go through this, We are just down the road for you guys, if you want to get out of the house.

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  3. "I'm just a mom trying to get my little girl through this...get my whole family through this."

    That may be the most humble, courageous thing I've ever read. THAT is exactly what wonder, courage and strength look like! Courage feels like exhaustion, and getting out of bed anyway. Courage feels like fear, terror, anger, sadness... and smiling at, and laughing with, your beautiful daughters... at the very same time. Courage feels like you just don't have any idea how to do this and you do it anyway. If you want to know what courage looks like, look over at Adam. Then get up walk over to the mirror and look in it. THAT is what courage looks like! These things your friends are saying aren't casual compliments. They are accurate observations. Just the facts ma'am.

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  4. Wow Bill, that was awesome!!! Kris print out Bills words and put it on your mirror to read every morning.

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